Consent

Is like we are joking too much in this country.

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Unfortunately only a few people understand the very important concept of SEXUAL CONSENT. Its annoying and sad, we gotta talk about this. Really.

'No' is actually a word in the English dictionary and humans tend to disrespect it especially in matters that concern the pleasures of the flesh. Respect the 'NO'. When they now say 'humans are scum', you'll be wondering why.

I get that you both are in a relationship, and y'all been doing the do before now, that doesn't matter once he or she says no. Whether you are inside already o, or yaf remove clothe already, as long as the second party is not comfortable and has said no, nna gerrof and go Jack off or something. Because once she's laying there or he's laying there like dead body and is not responding to any of your radio signals, itaf turn to rape by the constitution oh.

See, sex is a two person something. ( three person, four person, many person, add according to taste.) Even BDSM dey get safe word, once itaf do you reach your neck, shout pineapple. How is it sweeting you sef? Don't you watch porn? Don't you see how they use to do? You'll now be forming nymphomaniac(shey it's nymphomaniac ba?) and be doing dead body, only you will be having orgasm. When you now finish, you'll clean body, wear clothe and say 'Baby I am sorry.' Is like yaf mad gan. Somebody is using ya head to play some kinda ping pong. You better stop it.

The other day, one somebody was saying that and I quote...
'When I was removing clothe, she didn't say no.'

I know it sucks sha, to be left hard and dry. But c'mon, how enjoyable is it to not be held on to during sex? She's not moving with it. He's not holding your waist, its like you're riding stationery bike. Nne, why na? Get off and lie down small. Is the penis running away? Haba! Is that the only vagina in the world? Is like rubbing leg that Harmattan have chop and remain bone

Whether you have worn condom or not, as long as you have conscience and your mind is correct and you know your mama born you as a responsible human being, once 'NO' don dey fly, Oga, just stop.

And my sister, once our G have melt and you know he's saying no but you want to do like pleasure haf block your ear, yaf use your pant to tie his hand, you better untie his hand before they do like that and tie your destiny inside prison.

I rest my case.

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My First Kiss

Have you figured out who I am? I certainly hope not.

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In the kindness of my heart, I have decided to share my story with all of you. The Story of my first real real kiss. (I feel a wave of DeJaVu coming on). If you are reading this, consider thyself blessed amongst all phone users.

My first real kiss was terrible. Fada lawd! Secondary school, in the corner of all corners, hidden from public view but still in view. I can't remember what class I was, it was weird. It didn't feel like what it looked like on TV. By the way, don't believe what you see on TV. The deceit is unnatural.

His teeth were clenched, my tongue was now behaving like spoon, trying to pry it open. Sloppy and slippery, felt like dipping my face in Okro soup, really drawy Okro soup. Yes, it was that bad. His hands travelled more than I've ever travelled in this life, while I was still trying to figure out where is mouth was, he was already unhooking my skirt.

'Shor! Sir! My waist is too small for children now o biko.' I said internally.

Omo, see fight with person hand. Be like World War Three, the Revolution.

I'm telling you to stop, you are telling me to calm down. You no for like tear my skirt at once? Since we all want to be Christian Grey.

So, me now trying to shift my mouth, it was now as if I wanted to steal his kidney. He sha gave up on my mouth, finally realizing that the pikin he was holding was tired. Tired of kissing only, my guy started traveling again. From the neck to the chest, from the chest to 'e don do abeg.' before they will now change my school.

In summary, my G was a terrible kisser gan, terrible person join. E remain small, I for just shout rape.(Rape is sha nor joke. IT IS NOT A JOKE BIKONU.)

BONUS STORY
My first kiss, not real real something o..  It was this fine oyinbo pikin in primary school. I was trying to whisper gossip into his hear when mistake mistake, he turn face and my lips landed on his face. Oh! I almost mad. Everybody say I kissed him on the lips, they did not ask him o.. The voice of the people, na wetin matter pass. Wetin concern am concern this kiss wey I kiss am?

They used the broken leg of a chair to beat me. Thank God they didn't tell my mum sha, who knows.. They would have used me to do pepper soup.